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 i know that closeness in a relationship really matters to some people - be it family relationship or relationship between friends etc. but can we actually retain the closeness that we might once feel forever? It is not impossible in real life, but i would say that it is rather difficult. Through my experience, it is almost impossible and i have decided not to be bothered and weep over it. My life keeps moving on from a phase to another. I believe nobody would have experienced the same phase of life until his last breath. Of course, this will bring changes to your life and the people around you will not be the same people that you used to meet everyday.  For one long period, you might be clinging to a group of friends and you would have grown fond of them and at that point of time, you would feel like there were nothing that could tear you apart and this is the time when the phrase "Friends Forever" became some sort of a chain that links you together. Hugging, teasing each other, giving advice, sharing problems, talking about love crushes and hanging out became part and parcel of your friendship which created the closeness among you and your friends. But then, life never stayed as it was and started to change and it built a growing distance which brought you apart from the ones whom you once cheerfully called friends, snatching away the closeness. And in your current phase of life, strangers are becoming your new friend and your friends are becoming more or less like strangers. As people say life is a circle, it now turns around again and the strangers who had become your friends become strangers once again. That's how it is. You might still be friends since you are still holding on to the phrase "Friends Forever" but the closeness, either you realize it or not, has diminished. It just happen. It's normal. Nobody should be blamed. and that is why i refuse to weep over it because i have a life to catch up with and a future to create. i am not saying that i want to forget all my old friends. no way, they are so important to me. i am just saying that it is ok to reminisce some sweet memories because it will put a smile onto your lips. But hoping the memories to become a real thing once again is pointless. Memories only belong to the past. and the past will remain in the past. Labels: relationship, Thoughts |
posted by nsdahlia at 9:14:00 AM, Friday, October 30, 2009
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lately, my life has been very occupied with different things to do - presentations, assignments, mooting and choir. Some of them are individual tasks and some others are group tasks. so, when it comes to a group task, full commitment is a priority. i was quite pissed off recently when some of my grp members - be it presentations, assignments, or choir - simply decided to go back home when they are needed the most. seriously, this annoys me a lot! but then again, i cannot set others' first priority. i am not in the position to interfere with their personal lives. i have no right to say wht they should do and what they shouldnt. i cannot simply abstain them from doing things that i dislike. perhaps, they have sth else that is more important. sorry to those who feel offended with what i wrote and what i said... im trying to understand. |
posted by nsdahlia at 10:08:00 PM, Saturday, October 17, 2009
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so, the programme ended yesterday at around 7 pm. it was quite late and i felt so tired.... and sad. i went back with a certificate and shame. at the end of the day, no matter how ppl look up on me and how good they think i am, i never think so. i am just an average person, i make mistakes a lot and i wasnt at my best level all the time. what makes me feel sad yesterday, apart from leaving the nice bedroom (heee~), was my failure to show my best. we had a mooting practice yesterday with one of the speakers and i felt down because i was incapable of presenting my arguments on the case given. i could not even answer the simple questions the speakers were asking. it was a great shame for a law student. it was as if i do not know anything about the basics of law. it was as if i never learn this subject. it was disappointing when i feel that i am so stupid and that brought me to tears. yes, i cried after giving my short and pointless oral submission. childish... i know. as disappointing as it was, it was not enough to make me give up mooting. up till now, i still do not think that i am qualified to become a mooter, but i want to improve myself till i reach that level. i have to work hard for that - by not letting go the opportunity. and i also have to work hard to prove to myself that it was never a mistake when i decided to take this course at this university. i have been too ignorant, but now, although it is already too late, i have to start working harder. it is a cliche to say that it is better late than never, but afterall, it is true. even though many of us think that we should work smart, not work hard. but i will take a different view. we have to work hard in a smart way and that is what i need to do, beginning from now. I MUST... as we grow older, the room for improvement becomes bigger :)
Labels: feelings, law, Life, Thoughts |
posted by nsdahlia at 8:44:00 AM, Monday, October 12, 2009
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blogging from ukm :) we are having two-day programme called junior paralegal certificate programme, being held in ukm.. so all potential usim mooters are asked to attend. since it’s a two-day programme so we have to stay here. and what i could say is.. how I WISH i can stay here longer or... I WISH my bedroom can be as nice as the room i am staying in now. it is so comfy... aahhh~~  single bed.. so that i can study on it.
air-conditioner.. which will make me feel refreshed
after the tiring lectures and bus rides a huge closet... to put all my stuff.. begs, clothes, etc
(which are now under the bed, beside the table, beside the locker,
on top of the locker, everywhere!!) the table is so spacious that i can put my printer
and my laptop and my books
 ermm, maybe it's too much to have a tv.. too much distraction.
cheh.. cam baek je... jauh di lubuk hati, nak jugak ade tv cam
budak2 pandan mewah.
tapi, takpela... tu cume angan-angan... anyway, the whole programme so far is okay to me. the things learnt in the lectures and workshops werent so heavy for us to bear with. so i learnt new things a lot and managed to revise things that i have learnt during my matriculation. among the topics covered are regarding criminal law, family law, mooting, legal research and client counseling. most of the speakers that came today managed to attract my attention. i can say that because i didnt fall asleep since the first word came out from their mouth. well, i cant be sure for tomorrow. it’s almost 2 a.m. already and i’m still stuck in front of my laptop. the room is so lovely that i dont want to stop staring at it and enjoying its comfort for tonight. aahhh~~ (ada agik cita hal bilit tok) hopefully, i can still ‘survive’ for tomorrow’s sessions... now, i have to continue doing my slides for ethnic relation presentation. Labels: law, Life |
posted by nsdahlia at 1:57:00 AM, Sunday, October 11, 2009
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:::a daughter's prayer::: |
i told you... now, im writing again. haha~ so, everytime i feel reluctant to update this blog, maybe i’ll just have to write sth like “i want to stop blogging”, “i feel too lazy to post the updates” .. bla bla blah.. sth like these. coz only then i will be able to update this blog. i think this should do the trick. haha~ i spent my last weekend in seremban. first time balik bermalam time2 mcm tu. my mom was here, so i went to seremban and stayed over my cousin’s house to spend a night with my mom. she had an operation this week for her breast cancer. it wasnt getting better but i hope after the operation, she will start to recover... once in a while, when i was with her, i cried seeing her being abstained from eating her favourite food and seeing her being so weak. she used to walk so fast but now i always leave her a little bit behind. I hope that fatal disease will end soon after another series of surgeries... ameen. may Allah bless her. may she become more resilient as she always be.... Labels: Life |
posted by nsdahlia at 1:46:00 AM
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i guess i'm going to abandon this blog for a while... tangga upa lah. mun asa mok updet, adala... mun x, sikdala. so there will be no update until i finish my first sem - that will take until november. dah sa malas dah. kakya dah sekda smgt dah mok updet blog tok and i hate this layout. plus, i have not much time to blog these days. life is just too packed with a lot of things to do. and xmoklah update blog tok dgn benda yg x berfaedah. it is better to leave it blank rather than filling it with nonsensical posts. to write a very good post takes time, so ill just have to stop here.
ye, terit jak madah mok stop blogging, klk minggu depan tang ada jak anta post. tangga jak...
malasnya....
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posted by nsdahlia at 9:03:00 PM, Friday, October 2, 2009
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